Latest non-veg adult smss

Aftr marriage couple in bed
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She:0h!dat feels gud.
hand moves 2 her breast.
She:Honey,dats wonderful.
hand moves 2 her leg.
She:0h honey dnt stop.
He stops.
She:Why did u stop?
He: Coz I found d remote!



Every married man keeps wondering every evening~
Shud I go out & luk at wot I cannot fukk or stay home & fukk wot I cannot luk at.



Do u know wot is Necrophilia?
It means having sex with a dead woman.
Hey! It isn't Necrophilia if u've sex with one who acts like dat!



Raped by an elephant, man goes to doc
Dr:Funny, ur ass is 10"wide but an elephant cock is only 3"wide.
Man:Yes the bastard fingered me first.



What is the common between an army general's car and his wife?
Ans: Both are highly maintained and very less used..........!



Jab dikhaai di ch00t ki chamak,
lu nd gaya usi wakt bhadak,
bhadak kar ho gaya kadak,
kadak ban kar de diya ch00t ko sabak.



Girl hostel me phone aya-NEHA HAI KYA? Warden ne pucha-Peche kya lagati hai?
Jawab aya-AbKa toPataNahi, ParGaon MeTo SARSON KaTel LagatiThi



How does one define a virgin..?
On the VERGE but not IN....!!!!



Ladke wale ladki ka hath kab mangtey hain?
Ans-
Jab ladke ka hath thak jata hai
/ /l (
: c(,,,) )
: l /



A man was f****ta nurse.She shouts:Aah it's painful.
Man:Kamini,daily u r injecting me where I dont hv hole,I putting it in ur hole u hurt



Lips-Heat of luv
Nipple-Peak of luv
Boo bs-Shape of luv
Pe nis-Length of luv
Pus sy-Depth of luv
Ass-Base of luv
Testes-Weight of love



7men..(without dres)standing on a road with their Pen is Up
A Lady asks r u advertising for Condom
They reply, No:we are advertising 4 7up



SardarSe Uski GrlFrind Ne Bubs Chusnay KoKaha
Sardr Thori DerMuhme ChusKer RoonayLaga
GrlFrind:Kya Hoa Janoo?
Sardr:Oye Maa Ki Yaad Aagai



what is commen bitwin MOOV cream & LUUUND?
Dono hi..
Gahrai tak jaye..
Garmahat laye..
Aram dilaye...
Uh se ahaa tak.



Guy in lov wid Girl askd her 4 S.E.X.
Girl:"Apne bahut badi cheez mangi hai..."
Boy: "Agar itni badi hai to rahene do..



11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 bananas. Fruitseller: i m not selling less than 12 bananas.1girl said "le le yaar,1 kha lenge.



Wife:Dr mere pati ke lun pe madhumukhi ne kata hai
Dr:oh,soojh gaya.Drd bhi hai kaya?
Wife:Ji han,lekin srf dard ki dava do,soojan rahne do.



What is the similarity between LULLA & CHULLA ?
Both r used by Indian Women on daily basis!



Dhoni: Dad I want 2 marry Sania.
Dad: Why?
Dhoni: Dr. Has adviced me 2 drink 5 Litres milk daily. Dad: Stupid u marry Rakhi Savant V both can Drink 5 litres.



DEFINE RAAPE with the help of one good example.. Raape is a very-very difficult Job,
For eg. :-Its like playing GOLF with a continuously moving HOLE..



Hindustani dog ki 3 khas pehchan hoti hai:-

1)Haddi mili nahi ke chatna shuru
2)Khamba dikha nahi ke mutna shuru
3)Ghanti baji nahi ke sms padna shuru



Pakistani ladkiyo ke
( . ) ( . )
b(.)(.)bs
bade kyun hote hai?
Kyunki.... woh aate jaate har ek ko kehti hain
"AA DAAB"



Mallika Sherwat to chemist: 15 inch ka condom hai?
Chemist: Hai na, kitne doon?
Mallika: Abhi nahi, koi use lene aaye to mujhe call karna..!



CHALAT CH00T CHAP CHAP KARE
BAITHE TOH MUH KHOLE
BALIHARI US L AND KI
JO DHARTE HI GHUS JAYE
DHARTE HI GHUS JAYE ,
AUR PHIR JANG LADHAVE



6 benefits of having sex with married girl.
They enjoy well,
do not yell,
do not tell,
do not swell,
teach you well &
no risk on droppin Gel



Doctors have discovered that most single women can't fart. Apparently, they don't have an asshole until they get married to one.